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| Humor |
| Rogue Valley Audubon Society PO Box 8597 Medford, OR 97501 roguevalleyaudubon.org 541-601-3683 (541-601-DOVE) |
| Something to ponder: "The last word of ignorance is the man who says of an animal or plant: 'What good is it?' If the land mechanism as a whole is good, then every part is good, whether we understand it or not. If the biota, in the course of aeons, has built something we like, but do not understand, then who but a fool would discard seemingly useless parts? To keep every cog and wheel is the first precaution of intelligent tinkering." Aldo Leopold, The Sand County Almanac |
Up from the Egg:
the Confessions of a Nuthatch Avoider
- Ogden Nash
Bird watchers top my honors list.
I aimed to be one, but I missed.
Since I'm both myopic and astigmatic,
My aim turned out to be erratic,
And I, bespectacled and binocular,
Exposed myself to comment jocular.
We don't need too much birdlore, do we,
To tell a flamingo from a towhee;
Yet I cannot, and never will,
Unless the silly birds stand still.
And there's no enlightenment so obscure
As ornithological literature.
Is yon strange creature a common chickadee,
Or a migrant alouette from Picardy?
You rush to consult your Nature guide
And inspect the gallery inside,
But a bird in the open never looks
Like its picture in the birdie books -
Or if it once did, it has changed its plumage,
And plunges you back into ignorant gloomage.
That is why I sit here growing old by inches,
Watching the clock instead of finches,
But I sometimes visualize in my gin
The Audubon that I audubin.
A Few Quotes
The owl is supposed to be wise, but it is not wise
enough to get off the night shift.
The duck is a bird that walks as if it had ridden a horse
all day.
Our national bird is the eagle, and the stork a close
second.
Protect the birds. The dove brings peace, and the
stork brings tax exemptions. - Birmingham News
A bird in your hand is worth two in a tree above your
head.
If I were reincarnate, I'd want to come back a buzzard:
he is never bothered or in danger, and he can eat
anything. - Faulkner
A bird watcher is a person who listens to birds with
binoculars.
A Bird
A bird came down the walk:
He did not know I saw;
He bit an angle-worm in halves
And ate the fellow, raw.
And then he drank a dew
From a convenient grass,
And then hopped sidewise to the wall
To let a beetle pass.
- Emily Dickinson
The Pelican
A wonderful bird is the pelican!
His bill will hold more than his belican.
He can take in his beak
Food enough for a week.
But I'm darned if I see how the helican.
- Dixon L. Merritt
Enigma Sartorial
Consider the penguin
He's smart as can be
Dressed in his dinner clothes
Permanently
You never can tell
When you see him about
If he's just coming in
Or just going out!
- by Lucy W. Rhu
What do you call a minor bird accident?
A feather bender.
(Home)
the Confessions of a Nuthatch Avoider
- Ogden Nash
Bird watchers top my honors list.
I aimed to be one, but I missed.
Since I'm both myopic and astigmatic,
My aim turned out to be erratic,
And I, bespectacled and binocular,
Exposed myself to comment jocular.
We don't need too much birdlore, do we,
To tell a flamingo from a towhee;
Yet I cannot, and never will,
Unless the silly birds stand still.
And there's no enlightenment so obscure
As ornithological literature.
Is yon strange creature a common chickadee,
Or a migrant alouette from Picardy?
You rush to consult your Nature guide
And inspect the gallery inside,
But a bird in the open never looks
Like its picture in the birdie books -
Or if it once did, it has changed its plumage,
And plunges you back into ignorant gloomage.
That is why I sit here growing old by inches,
Watching the clock instead of finches,
But I sometimes visualize in my gin
The Audubon that I audubin.
A Few Quotes
The owl is supposed to be wise, but it is not wise
enough to get off the night shift.
The duck is a bird that walks as if it had ridden a horse
all day.
Our national bird is the eagle, and the stork a close
second.
Protect the birds. The dove brings peace, and the
stork brings tax exemptions. - Birmingham News
A bird in your hand is worth two in a tree above your
head.
If I were reincarnate, I'd want to come back a buzzard:
he is never bothered or in danger, and he can eat
anything. - Faulkner
A bird watcher is a person who listens to birds with
binoculars.
A Bird
A bird came down the walk:
He did not know I saw;
He bit an angle-worm in halves
And ate the fellow, raw.
And then he drank a dew
From a convenient grass,
And then hopped sidewise to the wall
To let a beetle pass.
- Emily Dickinson
The Pelican
A wonderful bird is the pelican!
His bill will hold more than his belican.
He can take in his beak
Food enough for a week.
But I'm darned if I see how the helican.
- Dixon L. Merritt
Enigma Sartorial
Consider the penguin
He's smart as can be
Dressed in his dinner clothes
Permanently
You never can tell
When you see him about
If he's just coming in
Or just going out!
- by Lucy W. Rhu
What do you call a minor bird accident?
A feather bender.
(Home)
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